A personal ode to Insomnia: ''My (C)Losing Time''

Many of my work is either inspired by and/or dedicated to one of the most persistent hate/love-affairs of my love: my very intense, very fickle on-off relationship with Insomnia. There is my series 'Sleep No More', which is definitely insomina-related, if not directly caused by it, created in that dreamlike, translucid state in between being half-awake and half-asleep. This series: 'My (C)Losing Time' deals with the topic of sleep deprivation too.

But whereas 'Sleep No More' clearly symbolises the more nightmarish aspect of sleeplessness, 'My (C)Losing Time' has much more an element of melancholy to it. Of loss, even. In the most literal sense: when suffering of insomnia, you lose every sense of time. You lose track of when it's day or night, you

In terms of purely artistic creativity, to me, it is almost ideal, because you live in a bizarre bubble, fueled by increasingl surreal thoughts, dreams, nightmares, visions that come from the deepest trenches of the human subconscious. There is absolutely no filter whatsoever between me and the world of Witty Art.

On any other level, it sucks big time. There is, indeed, a fine line, between going without very little or no sleep and going insane. Between the power of the surreal and the madness of paranoia.

Luckily, my bouts of Insomnia come and go, and have never interfered too much with my daily existence. But I can't and won't deny it: it's hard work sometimes. As an artist, I have both a great need and longing for the enormous surge of creativity that comes over me during my sleepless nights, but I do fear the enormous physical and mental exhaustion that follows after the wave has gone. So, I make an conscious effort not to give into my need for sleeplessness too much, and certainly won't let take over, let alone control the rest of my life.

So, that's why I chose the title for this series: 'My (C)Losing Time'. Yes, it may be so that Insomnia causes me to lose some track of time every now and then - but mostly, it's on MY terms: I decide when it's 'Closing Time', not she.

'Sleep No More': about Insomnia and a Witty that never sleeps

'Sleep No More' is another of those Witty Art Series created a while back, but never shown before. It's all about sleep, or rather, the lack of it. And I should know, because I suffer from bouts of chronic Insomnia.

For as long as I can remember, I have had difficulties falling asleep or sleeping badly, or at least, not getting enough sleep. And, at times, I have been the quintessential Insomniac, going on for several days and nights in a row with hardly any sleep. I've stopped keeping track of how many times I stayed up during nights, watching the sun come up, often going out for an early morning stroll, being witness to a world awakening. And no, none of this was or is because of me taking weird pink pills or any other chemical stuff. And I am not hearing voices either.

It's just exactly as in the famous Faithless song: ''I can't get no sleep''.

 My ever Ever Wandering Witty Brain basically acts and works like a spunge, soaking everything up, that is continiously being triggered, is constantly thinking, creating, visualising, making plans.

So, it's not surprising that these periods of Insomnia are also the ones of an extremely hightened creativity. Like a volcano about to erupt. Now, I always feel the need to create, to draw, to paint, to write. That is a very basic, crucial need, one that comes from deep within me. But during those insomniac times, when I hardly get any sleep or no sleep at all, it's like one big creative explosion in my mind, and it comes out in waves and waves of sketches and drawings, of writings, notes, ideas, and so on.

It's as every bit as exciting as it is exhausting.

And for those of you who wonder: ''But, what about your normal daily routine, what about your other work, your customers?"

Well, work goes on, no compromise there. I am a professional, after all and I gotta job to do. And, though you might expect otherwise, my other work does not suffer as a consequence from my periods of sleep deprivation. I just work around it. The way I see it, I all of a sudden am able to make the most of those 24 hours in a day. And, I hasten to add, those periods of insomnia don't last too long. After a while, I do get tired and more or less fall back into a relatively normal sleeping pattern. That is: feeling tired enough to want to go to bed, fall asleep and not waking up too much during the night.

So, I've tried to come to terms to my on-and-off relationship with Insomnia, whom I've come to see as a dear, old friend. But a difficult friend, one who's unpredictable and demanding and known to show up at the most inconvenient times. But, still, a dear friend as she (for me, it's a she) has come to know me veru well, unlike most people I have come to know, and she has been the katalyst for some of the most intense artwork I have made.

Bottom line: I do not resist. When Insomnia calls, I do not resist. That's our deal: she gets her quality time, so to speak. Perhaps it is I who keep her company during those nighttime hours, not the other way around. In return, she does not really overstay her welcome and makes sure she is gone after a couple of nights together. That way, I can happily revert back into Morpheus' arms.

'Sleep No More' was, like many of my recent work, created during such a period of little sleep and hypercreativity. But it was for the first time I realised I managed to capture the image of my sleeplessness, in both its most haunting and haunted state. When I shared some previews on my Instagram, some people commented that it reminded them of nightmares. Now, for me, that is not really the case but I can see where they are coming from. To me, 'Sleep No More' is just another way of paying tribute to some of the most powerful forces that has enabled me to create some of the best of Witty Art. It makes perfect sense to me. 

You gotta treasure your Muses, and here is one!

So, here's to you, Insomnia. May you be my nightly companion for the rest of my life, though not every night. I'd prefer our relationship to be one of ''Living Apart Together''.